Sleeping in Chaos

It was mid-morning and a long way from quiet.  One child was screaming out his frustration while another loudly insisted on her mother’s immediate attention. Cleaners were swapping jokes in Creole, mopping floors, and moving furniture in their never-ending effort to wipe out those nasty bacteria bugs that lurk about in nooks and crannies.  Nurses were pushing clanking carts loaded with equipment, taking temperatures, changing bandages and coaxing liquid medicine down unwilling throats. Doctors were consulting, instructions were clarified, and questions were being answered.

Inspiration Remembered

“It’ll probably snow next week,” Ann said. She was standing in front of the fold up table that was her kitchen counter and heating water on a green Coleman stove. I sat in one of the fold up chairs off to one side. Swinging my blue moonboots back and forth and not saying a word. Just watching. Trying to figure out how this woman would fit into my life. Why her furniture folded. And why she was living in a tent. In the Alaskan wilderness. In winter. 

Negotiating With Lucifer

“On Saturday I go back for three more months. I’ve lost my mojo and can’t find my why. I like to think  my why is out searching for my mojo and both will return in force but I can’t be sure. All I really want is to finish strong.” I looked over at him to see if he had heard.  Not only the words, but also the doubt in my ability to do what I wanted to do.

Old Depot Road

North of Lone Pine, California, past the only stoplight, the two local bars, and a bit further beyond the ice cream shop, sits the turnoff to the Old Depot Road. Tucked away and easy to miss is a battered and fading sign that reads “Narrow Gauge Road.” But nobody actually calls it that. If you see the town’s graveyard on the right, you know you’ve gone too far. 

I Get Jason Bourne

I get Jason Bourne.  Now, I could end it all right there and be done because I like to think that those who know me can read my mind.  That they will understand the message and will find those four words as funny as I find them to be.   But I’ve learned the hard way that mind reading is not something to bet on.  Caesars Palace gives better odds.  So, at the risk of sounding like my life is one big nonstop adventure (it’s not) or worse, coming across as being whiny (I’m not), I’ll dig this hole a bit deeper. 

Forces of Nature

Even forces of nature have a beginning and an end.  Storms, earthquakes, brilliant sunrises, and glowing sunsets.  The sights and sounds of an Aurora Borealis on a cold crisp night.  All come and go but not before changing the lives of those who have the privilege of experiencing the force of nature.  And so it is with our friend Dona.  Another magic maker who could not help but to create in the paths of those she crossed reflections on what is important in life; laughter and memories that last forever.

Imaginary Boyfriend

I went back and forth on whether or not to post this blog.  I mean normally I’m ok with posting things that embarrass me.  This one however embarrasses me at uncomfortable levels.  Which is, of course, exactly why it’s being posted.  I suppose it’s because I was raised with the belief that if it makes you uncomfortable, then do what you need to do to get comfortable with it.   We can credit my mother’s side of the family for this twisted yet effective approach for dealing with the truth.  Grandma pooped her pants?  Well let’s clean her up and talk about it until we’re laughing about it.  

Making Magic

The sun was setting on the 2015 Santa Fe Wine and Chili Festival and the autumn colors in the high desert were at their peaks.  We were in line for the shuttle that would take us to the vehicles that would then take us back to our real lives.  We were dragging our feet.  We just weren’t ready for the day to end.  And in the beauty that is randomness, her little group was standing in front of our little group and we started talking.  Surrounding our conversation were views of aspen trees changing colors in one direction and in the other, a seemingly endless wave of one mountain after another. 

Recommendations And Connections

There is a lot of stuff in this world to do, read, see, hear, visit, eat, enjoy, and avoid.  So much that for me it can make making decisions a bit overwhelming.  Call it the Paradox of Choice  if you like, but all I know is that I have reached a point where, whenever possible I now make the choice of following someone’s recommendations over making the decision for myself.  

Return to My World

“I suppose you’re transitioning to being back,” a friend commented, “How is that going?”   I responded with a “pshaw”.  You’ve seen it - that gesture of flipping a hand from a palm down and resting position to a full stop position that exposes the palm … all while blowing a raspberry.  I then dug deeper and made the ridiculous comment of, “Oh, I’ve been doing this for years.  I don’t even notice anymore.” What a crock.  Of course I’m going to notice a transition of returning to my world after living somewhere else in the world for nearly nine months.

Hope. And a Lifetime of Time.

Amalah is a woman in her forties who fell from her brother’s shoulders when she was a child.   In that moment of play when her head hit the ground, her emotional development came to a crashing end.   Medical professionals told Amalah’s parents she would remain forever with the brain of a five year old.   In the world I grew up in, this is a sad story.  And still, it is a story with hope. 

Coffee, Cigarettes, and Chemical Weapons

Far too often I make the mistake of believing I know exactly how the day will go before I even get out of bed.   And why wouldn’t I?  Only hours earlier I had tucked myself in with plans confirmed, schedules coordinated, and a list of things to do - each item with its own tick box.  And still, after all this time, I am surprised it surprises me when quite frequently, my days do not go as planned.   

Two Years and Twelve Pounds

I landed in Vegas and got into a cab. “Caesars Palace,” I said. I was splurging. Celebrating the accomplishment of what I thought would be the hardest challenge I would ever ask of myself: work with MSF’s Emergency Team for one year.

The lady behind the counter smiled when I asked about the possibility of an upgrade. As she tapped away at her keyboard, it hit me. I had done it. I had run the gauntlet I threw down for myself years ago and was still standing. A bit shaky, a bit gun-shy, a lot overwhelmed and very tired, but standing. I allowed myself a few delicious moments of self-congratulations and let the lights and decadence of the hotel lobby wash over me.

Letting Go ... An Ode

Letting go is hard. Yet it is one of the most important things and I continue to work at it. Letting go of memories, past grudges, embarrassing moments, mistakes, and words misspoken whether in love, anger, fear, or ignorance. Letting go of both the good and the bad in life. It’s about keeping the hands of our spirits free so we can evolve, as we will. But letting go of my Skechers? This has proven to be particularly difficult.

Instead of letting them completely go, I shall instead find a place for them in “The Closet”. A safe place where they can continue to exist. A place where I can gaze upon them and smile in

The Closet: Every Nomad's Necessity

The Closet:  Every Nomad's Necessity

After working with Doctors Without Borders for nearly two years, I made the ultimate commitment and sold my house. I would live the nomadic life and travel from one assignment to another. Between assignments, I would avail myself of the good graces, spare bedrooms, and hopefully high-speed Internet of friends and family. It did not make sense to pay a mortgage on a house I never saw and spent nights worrying about. Nights lying awake wondering if the roof was leaking or if the vintage-era electrical wiring had combusted and burned the house down.
 

Magic Dwells in Perspective

In my last blog I admitted to a few of the many travel blunders I have made in life. I then had the gall to offer unsolicited travel advice and we all know what happens to people who do such a thing. Circumstances will circle around faster than a bashed tetherball to hit the advice-giver in the back of the head. Every time I spout off as if I know what I am talking about, I am invariably forced to look into the depths of my own words.

In the blog I needlessly advised that nothing goes according to plan when traveling. Can I hear a collective, “Duhhhh”? Stepping in even deeper, I further advised, and

Travel Confessions

“People pack their bags and leave their brains at home.”
So says my mother referring to anyone who leaves the house for more than a day. Walk into an airport, direct your attention to the travelers swirling around and see the veracity of mom’s words. When we travel, and this includes you, we do peculiar things.

We step off moving walkways then abruptly stop to make an adjustment or confer with someone. We have no sense of the chaos we just created. Behind us, people collide with one another as the walkway continues to advance and our bodies block the narrow exit. We leave passports in bathrooms

Batman v. Superman? Really?

I don’t pay attention to the news because if it is important enough, someone will eventually tell me. And so it was the other night when a friend informed me that her young son can’t wait for the upcoming release of a movie called Batman v. Superman.

She further revealed that her child is specifically looking forward to the fights scenes between the two superheroes. “Are you kidding me? “ I declared using my outside voice, “This is exactly what is wrong with our world! Not even Batman and Superman can get along with one another.”

Decisions, Decisions

After another exhausting day working in the Philippines in the weeks after Typhoon Yolanda hit, a few of us were sitting around trying not to talk about work. The conversation turned to upcoming vacation plans and when it was my turn I said, “I have no idea. There are too many choices and I don’t have the capacity to make that decision right now.”

Donald was walking by at that precise moment and overhead the exchange. He stopped before our group and said, “You should go to Cassis, France. It’s beautiful

Roots

Once while standing in the middle of an aspen grove on the top of a mountain in Santa Fe, New Mexico, someone casually pointed out that every aspen tree in sight was connected to one another by the same root system. That each and every tree grew from the same mother line and that all the trees in the colony received nourishment from the same root system. They went on to say that if one tree is not well, the others will divert their own nourishment to that tree so it too can survive. That aspens have the ability to sprout anew in the same area after a fire because the root system is deep in the ground. While the fire rages on top of the ground, the root system is protected and simply waits for the fire to burn out.